Hey no problem. Just trying to help you out. You can remove your account from iPhoto and they should not be deleted from your Facebook. They only get deleted from your Facebook when you delete the photos in iPhoto when your account is linked to it iPhoto. I just did it on mine and here is the warning message I received
"48 albums will be removed from your iPhoto library. They will still be visible on Facebook. Photos downloaded from Facebook that have not been imported will be moved to the iPhoto trash unless you choose to import them."
Answer to your questions in order; and a question from me to you.
1. Yes you can load from within Facebook if the photos are on your computer in a normal folder or exported from iPhoto to a folder.
Question; How do you manager your photos? All through iPhoto or create a seperate folder for them? If they are just in a folder before you put them in iPhoto, then you can use a third party program such as COURIER to batch upload to Facebook without any problems like you are having with iPhoto. If they are not, you would have to export the photo from iPhoto to a folder and do the batch upload from there, this is what I would suggest for you. I do a combo of this method.
2. Did you Empty the iPhoto trash folder yet? If not then you can restore them, if you did, then unless you have a time machine backup available, I think they are gone forever. To see if you did, then open iPhoto, click iPhoto and you will see Empty iPhotoTrash either as an option or greyed out, if its greyed out, then you already emptied it. If it is an option, do not click on it. In iPhoto you will see a TRASH option on the left, and all your photos will be there, you can restore the photos you want from there.