Sorry to hear you find it difficult, I'm amazed at how iCal has fixed this issue that used to be a true stumble block.
Apple has really done something about it now as we can see both current time and the local time of an event in the overview. At work we schedule about 30 one-on-one sessions per week where the people as, generally, sitting in different locations from each other - participant from coach and both different from the scheduler.
Now we simply select the timezone of the meeting to be the participants. Then we drag and drop the meeting into the coaches calender into a free spot. The local meeting time for the participant shows in that view, making it easy to select a spot that should be doable for all parties.
Elegant and simple like Apple solutions often are.
Also, iCal invites almost all get answers from the participants but the google calender ones rarely get an accept/decline response.