The problem you're having is in all probability the one I mentioned in the first response in this thread.
There are several issues with sharing.
I have 3 Lion Machines and when they try and share using AFP AppleFileSharing crashes on the machine that is the target of an AFP share from another Lion machine.
This is a separate problem that Lion AFP to older versions of Mac OS X; from AFP sharing with NASs; and SMB sharing with other devices.
I have reported the problem to Apple some time ago and from some follow-up from them I sense that it will be fixed soon.
In the meantime I have no problem turning off AFP and turning on SMB on these machines.
Steve