I'm having calender issues too, but mine are slightly different. I edit my calendar on my iPhone 4 by editing, creating, and deleting events, and it's all fine and dandy. Then I plug it in to sync. Only certain events are added to iCal, the others just stay on the phone. Like I edited one event on my phone and it edited in iCal. I edited another one (on the same selected calendar) and nothing changed. I added some events for Saturday and they transferred, but I added even more events for Friday and literally none of them were imported.
If it's at all relevant, I turned iCloud off because I don't have wifi where my computer is and all I could see it doing was creating duplicate events.
I added a calendar in iCal and that transferred to my phone. I then added a calendar event and it transferred to my phone. But what I create in my phone doesn't want to sync to iCal.