A Couple of questions:
1. Are you using spotlight for more than contact searches? If you are, your phone will be sluggish.
2. Have you turned off notifications for apps that you don't really care about? This will help to speed things up.
3. Have you fine tuned location services so that only those apps that need it, use this feature? Turning off location services you don't need for apps you rarely use will help.
4. Have you tried turning off iCloud? I have no need to store my data on an external server. Do you?
I have a 3GS and it runs very fast. It does not hang, but I had to fine tune the phone.
Just a note: No other manufacturer I am aware of updates phones that are two years old like Apple. You get updates, but there are trade offs.
I had the original Motorola DROID. Updates were promised but never delivered while I had the phone. Apple keeps their phones updated, but you need to do some work to get them to run well. Once tweaked, they will run just fine. FYI, the 5.01 update helped to keep the battery from draining. The phone now lasts longer than it ever did on a charge.
If you want to use everything without much fine tuning, get a 4S. Of course, the 4S has issues too becuase it is bleeding edge technology and that means that bugs must be lived with until Apple fixes them, but they do fix them.