itunes will only say iPhone when my iPhone is connected

Okay, that seems to be a somewhat common problem with activation. One suggestion is this:

Plug phone in, you should see it listed on the device list to the left.

Clicking on the iphone device just displays "iPhone" on a blank white screen

Single click the name of the iphone device listed on the left to rename it - give it a unique name like "Old iPhone"

Eject and replug in

You should now see a "This device needs to be activated" screen. Click Continue

From the next screen, select "Restore to Factory Default."

If that doesn't work, it looks like you need to get hold of Apple's iPhone help line and get them to do something to correctly activate the phone. Here's a link to another discussion with some info, including the above quote. Hopefully the above will work for you, though...

https://discussions.apple.com/thread/3145902?start=45&tstart=0

If I understand what you're saying/asking... you're talking about the device, album, and other stuff list that shows in iTunes on the left, right? The iPhone appears there when it's connected, but isn't there when it's not connected? If that is what you mean, then that's by design: it is only supposed to appear there when it's connected. iPads and iPods are the same - if they're not connected, they don't show in the list; otherwise, they do.