You are right...sort of.
When troubleshooting, it's important to have a broad perspective and consider all things. It's even more important to troubleshoot the right things.
If I went into the doctor with a hurt arm and he wanted to do a digital rectal exam as the first course of action, I would be finding a new doctor.
You have to ask yourself: What is the problem?
We know that it is: Mail.app has a growing memory footprint problem.
The next question you need to ask yourself is: What can cause this problem and how can it cause it?
Let's look at some of the things you propsed:
- software addon to another piece of software: This is Unix not Windows. If you install a plugin for Safari for example, it will never interfere with another app like Mail.app because the applications run completely independent of each other. Likewise with Quicktime. Mail can call Quicktime to preview a media file attached to an email, but it calls it as a separate application, not a plugin. If Mail.app had an issue when calling Quicktime to preview a file, then yes, it could be a Quicktime issue OR how Mail.app is programmed to interact with Quicktime. If Quicktime is never called, it's a programming issue with Mail.app.
- router firmware issue: There is no way that an infrastructure element such as router firmware can cause an appication to grow in it's memory foot print. If Mail.app cannot handle how the network layer is functioning or even if a network outage caused it's memory footprint to grow, it is a software issue. Mail.app needs to be able to gracefully handle issues that are outside of it's control. If it can't, it's a code issue with Mail.app.
Let me throw in another posibility:
- Let's say that Mail.app is having some kind of protocol level conversation issue with Exchange. It is highly possible that it could be an Exchange issue. But if it was, it would be highly likely that more if not all Mail.app users that use Exchange would be having this issue. If Mail.app isn't properly communicating with Exchange on it's protocol, then it's a Mail.app code issue.
The bottom line is, this is an issue on how the application hanldes the memory it needs to use. If there is some external variable that is causing Mail.app to blow up memory, then it is a code issue with Mail.app because it doesn't know how to handle the external variable properly.
You are assuming that this issue is not happening on an older and/or lesser machine. I know a number of people that have a myriad of different MBP's (old/new, 2GB RAM through 8GB RAM) that all have this issue. Again, just because YOU aren't seeing any issue, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.