Reading through all of this, I don't think the original question was actually answered.
Yes, you can go to 16GB in your i7 MacBook Pro, using 3rd party RAM. Apple has a long history of listing as the maximum spec only the amount of RAM they're able to stock and provide at the time of introduction of the model. Sometimes, RAM becomes available that exceeds the original spec, as what happened here. Other times, the original spec remains because the model simply can't use memory beyond the original spec.
Yes, it is possible to overkill with RAM. Besides the obvious wasted money issue, your MacBook Pro will consume more power along with the additional RAM. The difference is slight, and may not even be noticed, but it does exist and may be worth considering. With additional RAM, there will be a slightly longer cold-start time prior to the boot process, as the Mac does its system check prior to loading the OS. Again, this may not even be noticed, especially if you rarely restart your Mac. With additional RAM, the minimum virtual memory size is increased. So if you'e going from 8GB to 16GB, your minimum virtual memory size will double. If you're very limited on disk space, this may be something to consider, but again more than likely, this won't be an issue.
You can check to see if additional RAM would improve things by going to Activity Monitor in your Utilities folder (in Applications). See:
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1342
Pay attention to Free, Inactive, Page outs and Swap used.
Your MacBook Pro has 2 slots. If you're going to upgrade it, it may make sense to max it out, since you add in (ideally matching) pairs and your RAM requirements are likely to increase in the future. Thus, if you decide to upgrade in the future, you have to pull RAM out to add larger capacity modules.
8GB modules (X2 for 16GB) have really dropped in price recently. I recently upgraded to 16GB when the price dropped below $100. For me, it's really nice to know that RAM simply isn't going to be an issue (at least for now).