Hi phscheuer,
you are right, Apple should give a nice user experience without additional apps and at least in my case they deliver that good experience.
But you need to accept their way of thinking, i.e. you cannot delete pictures you have synced from PC. Or you cannot sort by name and the name is not displayed at all.
I have tried out several programs like Photosync or PhotoManagerPro just to see what advantages it will give.
If you want to have almost full control I would recommend PhotoManagerPro, here you can sync without iTunes and use an FTP client with a sync feature. In the Mac world they use CyberDuck.
OK, I understand that you have a) issues with iTunes syncing and b) you do not know where your pictures are when you connect your iPad to your Windows PC and save it.
b) is a normal Windows Function and has nothing to do with Apple.
When I do it with my PC and iPad I see the MS Word, Photoshop and MS Scanner and Camera Assistent in the popup.
If I choose the assistent I am able to select picture and clicking on next button I can define the target folder.
But you can just go to your normal windows explorer (not IE explorer) and see your iPad picture folder. With normal copy and past you can access your pictures.
Please try that first before we can go to a) which could be more difficult.
I am using Windows XP and iPad 3 with iOS6. I could try it with my other PC with Windows 7, if you are using windows 7. Please let me know.
best regards
Peter