For me, my solution turned out to be setting the AppleTV (1080p) to WiFi.
Background... (and longer story)
Before all this happened, back before March when it all worked perfectly my set up was:
Mac Mini with OS X Lion Server (DNS & DHCP) and running iTunes 24/7
Three 27" iMacs
AppleTV (160 GB)
AppleTV 2
Buffalo Router (DD-WRT installed)
(And for the 3 years before that it was two AppleTV 40 GB and two AppleTV 160 GB. Once the AppleTV 2 came out my original ones started dropping like flies) Everything was wired with Gigabit ethernet (Cat 5e). Never any issues.
Then the patch hit AND I bought an AppleTV (1080p) This put me back up to three AppleTVs in the house again. I kept reading the forums but it really seemed like an iTunes issue since all my Macs and AppleTV were affected.
Anyway, I used the terminal commands to count connections and watch. It was the new AppleTV that kept flooding the MacMini. I eventually took all the AppleTVs offline and then only let one on the network at a time. For me the issue happened when ever the AppleTV (1080p) was connected by ethernet. I moved it (and nothing else) to WiFi and I stopped having to restart iTunes 2 to 3 times a day.
I still notice over the course of a few weeks scrolling on the AppleTV (1080p) starts to get slugish and restarting it or iTunes will fix that and bring back it's responsiveness.
All this testing was done throughout the end of June, July and Aug (about 6 weeks total). It has been working fine for the las 4 weeks.
It seems like there are a lot of factors at play here and everyones solution is different. However the timing of this is same for everyone and I'd think Apple could have tracked it down by now.
The two things that helped me were the connection count and the suggestions of changing the AppleTVs connection type. Mine is now on the opposite of everything else.