don't worry fella, when I say I am no techie, I mean am not good in understanding what set of letters does what. I do know my Apple stuff though and my way around the system.
I hear what your saying.. but it is worth considering. I have just deleted my exchange account and closed MAIL. I then went into hidden library and deleted under prefs my mail.plists and any plist I thought to be resulting to exchange mail.
Now we have a hard wired network and a WIFI network. Ofcourse the iMac has both, with the network prefs on setting the service order of the ethernet as 1st and wifi as second.
With Wifi switched ON it will find exchange accounts, start to sync emails, folders etc etc and gradually slowly get my emails.
with WIFI OFF, it won't get all my folders and emails.
If I send an email from iphone or receive email on iphone and then go to look at it on iMac it is not there, its like it is saying, your iphone has downloaded from the exchange server therefore we don't need to download it again to your iMac.
I still maintain that the server issues I have which is another subject, is linked to the mail issues. They are all coming via the server, which my iMac is having trouble seeing after the upgrade of ML.