Here's some interesting but unexplicable (for me at least, so far) improvement. First context, to distinguish this from others' postings related to other configurations:
Laptop is Macbook Pro 17', running Mac OS X 10.8.2
iPhoto on laptop is iPhoto '11, 9.4.2
iTunes is 11.0.1
on an iPhone 4S, iOS 6.0.1
The long time problem has been that the ordering of photos in the iPhoto library are not preserved when transferred to an iDevice (iPod, iPad, iPhone) with iTunes. Several people have noted this recurring problem despite a variety of new versions of the iPhoto, iOS, OS X, iTunes software. In addition, many of us have repeatedly open trouble tickets directly with Apple, often to the "second level" of support, with no obvious fix or improvement; indeed there is no public evidence that Apple has even acknowledged this problem.
In addition, many postings have suggested this is a complex problem, and thankfully, many of you who know better have pointed out that preserving sorting order IS a simple problem, and should be addressed easily.
Here's my situation: I had replied that buying iPhoto as an app for the iPhone did NOT solve the problem with correctly interpreting the sort metadata presumably managed in a hand off from iPhoto on the laptop to iTunes on the laptop, so that my prefered order (in this case alphabetical by event name) was not preserved when viewed with the Photos app on the iPhone. Indeed that was the case.
But after installing the $4.99 iPhoto app on the iPhone, something did change. iPhoto on the iPhone does NOT present the correct order of the iPhoto events transferred by iTunes ... but Photos does?
Yes, iPhoto on the iPhone now seems to received the preserved order from iPhoto on the laptop, transferred by using iTunes to select events and synch them to the iPhone.
But only when viewed on the iPhone with Photos, NOT iPhoto.
I can't figure it out (yet), but have to say that showing people photos on my iPhone is a lot easy as I don't have to manually search through mysteriously ordered events.
My hypothesis on why this is the case is not complete ... it is as if the installation of iPhoto on the iPhone has an unintended but positive effect on the transfer or the sort metadata by iTunes to the iPhone? Why iPhoto can't use that data correctly remains a mystery?
The summary is that buying iPhoto seemed to be the key, but that iPhoto itself can not correctly display the sort order on the iPhone that Photos.