If you can't "be doing with all these geeky programs" then why are you using iPhoto? Why not use some other app, one more suited to your tastes? iPhoto isn't for everyone. If you're not comfortable with basic terminology like 'thumbnails' it might be the best thing.
iPhoto is a database. If you're not familiar with databases then again, another way of working might be appropriate.
Thumbnails are tiny versions of a photo used for viewing them in organising view. They are used all over the internet. Where your original photo might be 4,000 x 3,000 pixels and 5 or so MB in size, a thumbnail will be maybe 400 x 300 pixels and 50kb in size, and so loads faster.
Masters are the original photos imported from your camera.
Versions are virtual copies of your master. Consider a simple case: A master in the Library represent a file on the hard disk. You duplicate it. (Photos Menu -> Duplicate). There is still only one file on the hard disk. Delete one or other of the versions and the Master remains until you delete the last one.
So, if you have duplicates in an Event you can't delete the master from the hard disk until you delete the last of the duplicate images.
So:
I would not mind removing them manually, but how am I supposed to tell which one is the master and which are not? If I accidentally send the master to trash, will I lose the others?
No.
I read somewhere that if you delete a photo from your library it will disappear from any album you had put it in
That's correct. iPhoto works on a Library principle, like iTunes. Every song is in the Library, each playlist simply points to the track in the Library, so a song can be in any number of playlists and use no extra disk space.
In iPhoto, a photo in an Album points to the image in the Library. So a photo can be in as many Albums as you like without using any extra disk space. But as these are only pointers to the Library, then if you remove the image from the Library then it goes from everywhere.
Note that Events are not Albums, they are the Library.
How could this apply to photos that have been "exported"?
It doesn't. When you export you make a copy of the image outside iPhoto and all connections with iPhoto are severed.
If these exports have no substance why can i only attach two or three to an email?
Exports have substance, so I'm not sure what you're trying to say here.