Thanks for the feedback, and sorry about the delay, had a real busy last week moving house.
So I plugged in the head phones and I can hear the ringer yay! well kinda, how ever I don't believe its a matter of it thinking that headphones are plugged in or not, as it changes the volume setting when I plug in or remove the headphones from the jack. SO that says to me that the phone recognises the headphones are in or not.
As for checking the pins it none of them appear to be bent but there is a bit of dust in there.
I'm downloading the iTunes 10.7 and will try do a backup and restore from my work pc, as my normal one is still in a box somewhere o.O
* RE - Runez's comment about before and after upgrade, that's when I first noticed the issue, it may or not have been a direct cause of the upgrade to 6.0.1 that was the last thing I could remember changing before realising that the phone had a problem.