I agree, Apple products are clearly taking a turn for the worse now that Steve's micro-management and attention to detail is gone (I say this having worked with him, many years ago, and knowing in my gut that he would be very displeased with things like iOS 7, the "ghost" scroll bar, and other changes). Nevertheless, it's not going to get any better, so we have to make do with what we've got...
Toward that end, I finally managed to "solve" the Mail problem. Like you, I've been frustrated by Mail failing to sync with my Google Apps mailbox, I've seen dozens of "draft" replications on the server, I don't want Mail to delete my mail (only archive), and I've had the various problems with Mail and Google label/folder structure. These problems have been getting successively worse with each major Mail release.
It's gotten to a point that I had to find a solution. I recieve about 100-200 messages per day. I can't have my mail application failing me.
I looked around, tried some other options, and stumbled upon Unibox.
I was skeptical at first. Unibox has a trial, and I encourage anyone that's frustrated with Apple Mail to try it (http://www.uniboxapp.com). It's a bit different, but it's also polished. Very polished, for a 1.0 release. One of the things I have always loved about Apple Mail is that it's polished, easy to use, and is all-around a great mail application. Unibox is the same.
Be warned though, it takes a little mental shift: Unibox organizes mail by person, not by timeline or subject. At first this was very alien, but after one week with it, I love it. Absolutely love it. It makes perfect sense and honestly, I can't understand why nobody thought of this before (well, Airmail kind of did, at least they support a view that is similar but they haven't taken it to the level that Unibox has). And, if Unibox adds just a few of the features I've suggested, it's going to be a really fantastic application.
Good luck... I hope you find Unibox as good a solution as I have. I don't use Apple Mail anymore, and I'm not missing it at all.
PS... If Unibox isn't for you, but you also have given up on Apple Mail... my fall-back was Airmail. It's a good product but it lacks the polish and simplicity of Unibox, at least in my mind.