The key therein might be in the Console Log:
com.apple.usbmuxd: _SendAttachNotification Device xx:xx:xx:xx:xx:xx@fe80::ipv6:ipv6:ipv6:ipv6._Apple-mobdev2._tcp.local has already appeared on interface ##. Suppressing duplicate nofitication.
com.apple.usbmuxd: _heartbeat_failed heartbeat detected detach for device 0xd25-fe80::ipv6:ipv6:ipv6:ipv6:ipv6!
1) I'm not sure I have ipv6 configured on the airport Extreme between the MacMini and the iPhone.
2) note: DUPLICATE: the process is refusing to notify that a duplicate device attachment was detected
Is it possible that restarting the Mac hosting the iTunes wipes the detection, allowing the first attachment becuase it's non-dupe, but that attchment never removes? This would cause every second/third/fourth attachment to not reach the iTunes, allowing the iPad or iPhone to appear in the device list.
I also see (sudo /usr/sbin/tcpdump -i en0 host {iphone IPv4 addr}) that the two systems (iphone, mac) are communicating, so perhaps that's the communication to the attach notify.
I'm going to see if I can restart just the daemon hosting the notify. I'm currently bogus-ing my launchctl commands, but I was going to start with restarting the iTunesHelper. Additionally, I'll see if deactivating ipv6 (from current: link-local) affects things.