Disappointed on so many levels...
I am also a long time Apple user (circa 1979) and very much know my way around all things Apple: hardware, software, OSX and iOS.
The "Update Unavailable with This Apple ID" issue is pervasive, inclusive and persitant. Not the first time Apple has dropped the ball with regard to authentication issues, MobileMe springs to mind and I lived through that entire debacle.
The "solutions" I've found so far include going to bed and waking up 8 hours later to find all is well with the world or spending hours on the phone with AppleCare who will coordinate with iTunes to reset your account in some voodoo like fashion.
Don't get me wrong, I think the Apple support teams do an amazing job day to day but they clearly don't know what the issue is here either. Someone needs to own this at the engineering level and fix it. Tim Cook nudged Scott Forstall to pursue different career options over the iOS Maps screw up, I expect he will be doing the same with whom ever owns this one.
And to Dah•veed, you have been nothing short of rude and valueless with regard to your participation in this thread. People are here seeking answers and it is inherent within the Apple culture to provide support and direction to those genuinely seeking help. If you so happened to be lucky enough to work in one of the Apple Retail Stores, your attitude and approach would have led to a coaching session during which you would have been encouraged to pursue a different path. Instead of playing "police", perhaps you should use your apparent forum experience and supposed Apple expertise to provide substantive direction and/or solutions to this very real issue.
As soon as I'm aware of a fix, I'll post again, hope someone beats me to it.