can connetct only to local network machines

I would guess that your network has the required ports for ARD to work turned off for the outside world. Can you talk to your network admins?

No, he means that you need to talk to whoever administrates your network router/firewall, if you're on a corporate network. In any router or firewall between your admin stations and your workstations, TCP and UDP ports 3283 and 5900 need to be open.

you mean the apple remote desk top should be checked in the firewall of the machines iam trying to control?

Well yes, the system firewall has to be set to allow ARD. But again, I mean that you need to open the ports in the router that connects your home LAN (which I presume is what you mean) to the Internet.

You may also have to forward them if your router is an NAT device (i.e. it's assigning IP addresses to the workstations rather than your ISP having given you several). The ramifications of using NAT with ARD have been covered here many times already; just search the forum for "NAT".

now i can not control my computer with out asking permission

What do you mean? What is "asking permission"? If you mean that the client is being asked to grant permission, you must be connecting as a guest rather than as a user with full ARD privileges.

You need to have set up the workstation in ARD using the name and password of a user who's been given the appropriate ARD privileges. It's the same whether you're connecting from a system on the same LAN or from outside. If you're getting the "guest" access, the you've probably not used a valid user name and password.

ARD cannot connect to systems where the user has no password. You'll need to set up at least one ARD user account with a password.

Dave, you are a far better man than I. :o)