Ever since I updated apple tv the airplay icon does not show up on my iPad/iPhone. If Apple TV is turned on (off standby,) icon appears. Have been through all the setting and tried all suggestions in a google search.

But I can't believe that waking up an Apple TV that went to stand by automatically relies on its remote.

I would agree, if the remote sent the device to sleep. But in my case the Apple TV box went to sleep on its own.

It really doesn't matter if you believe or not. Try programming a remote (not the Apple-provided remote) as an additional remote and see if it fixes the problem.

The few of us working on this in the other thread tried to reason out why I wasn't having a problem and they were. So someone asked if I'd be willing to reset all of my settings and see what happened. Before doing so, I took notes so I could get everything back to normal. After the reset, my ATV exhibited the "deep sleep" phenomenon. Then, one by one, I started rebuilding my settings and testing after each add. When I added my DirecTV remote, the problem went away - I could wake the ATV for AirPlay again. So I backed that out, removing the remote from the settings. Deep Sleep occurred again.

After that, two other people tried adding remotes and saw the same thing - they now have no problems w/ AirPlay.

It doesn't make any logical sense, and we were just as baffled as anyone else. Thinking about it since, maybe having to detect an RF remote (the Apple remote is IR) prevents it from deep sleeping. Who knows (other than Apple)?

This indeed sounds pretty weird!

You spoke of adding a remote. What I just tried is to remove the standard remote from Apple TV. Oddly enough I'm still able to use it!

Then I trained my TV remote. It seems that you're right, Apple TV shows up from standby mode on my iPhone and starts streaming after selected on the iDevice.

Unfortunately unused keys on my TV remote are not reasonable for this purpose, so I just deleted the newly trained remote.

Guess what: It still (sic!) seems to work. So this really confuses me and I will go on trying.

Interesting.

Best to find a remote not used in that room (like a neighbor's DVD remote or something) so that there is no key conflict.

The nice thing about the DirecTV remote is that I can set the additional "AV" channels to be whatever I want just by entering a code. So my remote mimics some weird DVD I've never seen but the Apple TV knows to respond. 🙂