Update 3: Possible solution
I noticed that under my icloud backups it showed both a backup of my old 4s (that i restored from to my new 6) and it showed a backup of my new 6. Both backups were around the same size. I deleted both. (i saved a local one in itunes just in case). This turned off 'backups' under the icloud menu.
After doing this, I forced my phone to 3g by turning off my router. Turned the router back on and the networks showed up in a few seconds. I even renamed my networks from my router so the phone would have to rediscover them... it did, in seconds. I walked down the street to force my phone to 3g and came back... it joined my network right away when I got back in distance.
So then i hooked up my old router. Within 2 seconds my phone saw it and remembered the name and password.
None of these things would work before I deleted those backups. The phone would just spin and not find any networks or take 3-4 minutes and maybe randomly find them.
The wifi signal is still kind of weak with the old router if I'm a few rooms away. The new nighthawk ac/5gz router is far superior/is full strength rooms away. (but this was never really my issue)
This is the first thing that has solved the problem of the phone being lazy/slow to pick up/remember networks.
Anyone that has had this problem... check your icloud backups and let us know if you had 2 and if there is any change by deleting them. Tomorrow I'm going to turn icloud backups back on to see if things maintain.