Hello there BenjiGordon,
It sounds like your iPad is seen in iTunes with Wi-Fi sync enabled, but your iPhone isn't. I would recommend the troublehsooting in the following articles troubleshooting be done between your phone, computer and router:
iTunes 10.5 and later: Troubleshooting iTunes Wi-Fi syncing
These steps in particular:
Restart your home network router using the manufacturer's instructions. You may need to disconnect the power cord for 30 seconds or more.
Note: During this time, Internet services, such as a VoIP-based phone, won't work, and you may need to reset additional network devices.
Thank you for using Apple Support Communities.
All the best,
Sterling