Short answer: turn off bluetooth on your phone, do not charge your phone on a laptop that used the hotspot before while the laptop has no wifi.
This "feature" really is stupid.
I am using a prepaid data plan and only occasionally use the iphone as a hotspot - when I really need it. Therefore, my hotspot is generally switched off.
Recently, I was working on the train (presumably offline) and did not realize that the laptop automatically connected to the hotspot and was able to override the off-setting without me doing anything. What an idiotic behavior!
The laptop drew large amounts of data in the background, for which I then had to pay 50 bucks, even if I did not surf or anything and was not even aware that the connection existed.
After several support calls with apple and my service provider, which basically did not help as the root cause could not be identified, I stumbled upon this thread.
It seems I had bluetooth on on both devices exceptionally. On my laptop, bluetooth is always on, as I use such a mouse and keyboard at home and in the office. But on the phone, I usually have it turned off, but must have left it on because of some airdrop I did earlier.
Not sure when Apple changed this or whether this behaviour is designed this way. To me, it looks like a design flaw. When a user says: "No, I do not want to use the hotspot!" on his phone, why would an automatic behavior override this decision? Especially, as long as we still have data plans that are not unlimited in many countries.
The only option to prevent this is to not charge my iphone on my laptop when travelling (because of the usb-connection that would turn on the hotspot), and to have bluetooth switched off on my iphone. Or to be aware of this flaw and disable "wifi" everytime the laptop is not connected to a wife and close to the phone.