Fellow Sufferers:
This is easier than it seems. Before I setup Outlook 2016 for Windows on Windows 10, I downloaded iCloud for Windows and installed Apple's new executable.
Download iCloud for Windows - Apple Support
1. Update your Windows 10 software with latest patches. Restart your Windows 10 machine.
2. Install Office 2016 for Windows, validate install by launching Word or another application (Not Outlook yet). Then launch another Office app (Excel) to make sure install key is accepted and working.. Restart your machine.
3. Download and install iCloud for Windows (above link). Restart if prompted
4. Launch iCloud for Windows and sign in.
5. Open Outlook 2016 at this point. iCloud will have configured all settings and everything will start syncing in the background.