I spent all day trying to fix this same issue on my Macbook after running an update, which only has a fraction of my entire library on it (480GB). I tried deleting preferences, I tried re-installing iTunes. I tried disk utilities and repair everything. I reset PRAM. iTunes wants to run 100% and give me spinning beachballs all the time, making it useless.
The only way to make iTunes responsive was to hold the option key while launching iTunes and choosing to create a new library, then moving the new database files to my old itunes library folder, and then dragging my 480GB iTunes media folder from the finder into itunes to get back my music and movies. The files stayed in the same place in my iTunes folder, but got added to iTunes this way. Unfortunately I also sort my music by date added and this screwed that all up, along with losing my playlists.
But if I try to import ANY of my backup copies of my playlists (e.g. import from an old itunes.xml file from 1, 2 or even 3 weeks ago from my time machine drive) then I get the same 100% usage, freezing, lagging, beachballs, with even just moving the cursor or trying to scroll. I have 1700 playlists to help me separate my MP3 versions of albums from ripped ALAC albums, and for syncing groups of artists, and I can't get them back. 10 years of playlists gone forever! (^*&%
I also can't turn on iTunes Match to pull my playlists off my iMac, which is the only computer with match typically turned on, done that way so that I can access all my music on my Apple TV. If I turn on iTunes match (or iCloud Library) on my Macbook, then iTunes on my Macbook is ruined again and I have to start over. This is with a 9 month old 15" Retina MBP with OS X 10.10.5 that ran fine before updating last night.
So, now I am afraid to update my iMac's iTunes due to fear of this happening to it too, as that has a 6TB thunderbolt drive with a 5TB iTunes library attached, and about 3000 playlists that I sync to all of our iPhones/iPads.
It seems to me the old itunes.xml file isn't compatible with the new iTunes if you have certain playlists in it or use itunes match. I did try creating a new blank library, and selected show all purchased music, movies and TV shows. This worked without lagging, until I turned on iTunes match to access my iMac playlists and ripped CD's. Once all my playlists uploaded to match from the iMac showed up on my Macbook, even before importing any of my local music from the iTunes Media folder, the freezing and beachballs came back.