i never set a backup password but it says that i did so i cant do my backups and I NEED THEM!

Not sure if this will help you specifically but it helped me in a similar situation. I definitely never set my back-ups as encrypted and hence never chose a password for a back-up. I had tried every password possible, every suggestion on these forums and nothing worked for me. However if you go to Settings, General, Reset, Reset All Settings - it actually removes the encryption (it does not remove any data etc). After it has reset plug it back it and the encrypted box will no longer be checked. My issue was a little different however, as I still had my old phone so I could simply back it up again once the encryption was removed. You cannot restore from an old backup but you can simply backup your phone now making sure the encryption box remains unchecked and you now no longer have an encrypted back up. I never post on forums like this but I had been trying to fix this for months so thought I would share in the hopes it could help anyone experiencing the same issue. Hope this works for you!