Why is iMessage combining two contacts into one thread. I can only text back the last one that messaged me. This started with iOS 12

Although I might be able to get my daughter to do it, how do I know in advance who else might have old shared ids. For example, I want to help plan a surprise birthday party for a friend whose has had an iphone for a number of years. If I text her husband (something I have never done), will it go to her? Do I ask him first (call or email since I can’t safely text without knowing). The problem seems to crop up most often among family members who we might be able to influence, but what about relative strangers...I suspect it happens less because we are less likely to be texting to more than one of them, but there are plenty of examples of this 45 page thread of texts going outside our own family to couples that get merged and misdirected.

One last thought I had was to try to roll back to a backup copy of my phone prior to the roll out of ios12 last October. Has anyone tried that. It is a pretty drastic step, but I understand that would restore my phone to ios11, but cost me last six months of data, photos etc unless backed up elsewhere.

I see your point and it’s valid. However tedious my explanation was for clarity, it’s actually no work at all. The system that I work with came along gradually over years as my devices grew and it’s a few minutes of setup for each added device that would be the same basic time as family sharing. For 6+ years with an issue 1 time after an update that I worked through I’m happy with it and feel it’s viable for others depending on their personal situation. Definitely not for everyone.

I particularly appreciate someone who "solves tech problems" for a living trying to figure out a way out of this. I spent a lot of time on various boards in the past couple of days, trying to figure out if I had missed some solution. Yours is the only workaround I have seen, other than "get separate ids"....too much time wasted on deleting threads, toggling out of imessage, changing contact lists, update to 12.1 (yeah, that fix didn't do it since I am on 12.12) etc. The only glimmer of hope I had was the support tech at apple telling me I'm not the only one with this problem --after trying endless options she concluded that my daughter and granddaughter must be, unbeknown to me, sharing...and if so, then if I can get them to unshare, I will still have to do all the things we just did (delete tainted threads, clean up any contact overlap data, etc, watch for it to come back even with the new ID if I have left any bit of the shared ID traceable back to my granddaughter's phone...the monster in the apple software will try to bring them back together again.)

Maybe, but that’s the way things go with a majority of technology. I deal with that every day. A one time issue out of over 6 years of use is a better success rate than just about anything else I’ve dealt with. I’m going to just add one thing and then I’m done with this thread because at this point it’s just spinning wheels with the same people naysaying and preaching over and over.

The part that gets to me with some of the replies I get is that I actually didn’t come up with this method. Apple representatives on phone tech support and in the store suggested it to me and I followed their advice and instruction. It originated from what they said to do for my circumstances and a system they had and continue to have in place. If it stops being supported or there comes a day when the system doesn’t work as described, I’ll move on to another method. That doesn’t make this method any less valid.

Alexis62103 wrote:

That doesn’t make this method any less valid.

I never said it wasn't "valid", whatever that means. I said it sounded needlessly complex and likely to continue to break. It honestly makes no difference to me how you set up your devices.

7 months since OP and this is still an issue. I have just experienced this for the first time. It is only effecting one of my contacts who i had 2 numbers saved in the same contact card. Unfortunately the 'second' number was an international number and i am no longer able to send messages to the original 'local' number now they are back in the country. it is also sending as a text SMS message not an imessage as the international number was inactive so therefore imessage failed as it reverted to SMS (costing me international rates *GRRR*). I have tried to force imessage to the local number but it keeps sending as SMS to the international number, even when i have: deleted the international number out of the contact and then the local one too, deleted the messages associated with the international number out of the conversation thread, turned on flight mode with wifi only (to ensure im not charged int SMS again) and inputted the number manually. When i deleted the messages associated with the international number, and composed a new message, it showed as green local, but when i hit send it changes back to the international (green).

People have been taking about the root cause being icloud and using icould alias (at their end) which was probably the initial cause, but my issue seems to have transcend imessages into SMS which is a real problem because this has cost me real money and i am not able to send ANY messages (to this contact) other than international SMS which they cant even receive anyway being back home.

spiritsofthenight wrote:

7 months since OP and this is still an issue. I have just experienced this for the first time. It is only effecting one of my contacts who i had 2 numbers saved in the same contact card. Unfortunately the 'second' number was an international number and i am no longer able to send messages to the original 'local' number now they are back in the country. it is also sending as a text SMS message not an imessage as the international number was inactive so therefore imessage failed as it reverted to SMS (costing me international rates *GRRR*). I have tried to force imessage to the local number but it keeps sending as SMS to the international number, even when i have: deleted the international number out of the contact and then the local one too, deleted the messages associated with the international number out of the conversation thread, turned on flight mode with wifi only (to ensure im not charged int SMS again) and inputted the number manually. When i deleted the messages associated with the international number, and composed a new message, it showed as green local, but when i hit send it changes back to the international (green).

People have been taking about the root cause being icloud and using icould alias (at their end) which was probably the initial cause, but my issue seems to have transcend imessages into SMS which is a real problem because this has cost me real money and i am not able to send ANY messages (to this contact) other than international SMS which they cant even receive anyway being back home.

What you are describing really has nothing to do with sharing an Apple ID (the root cause of the issues in this thread). If you want help I would suggest starting a new thread as this one has run its course and likely won't get attention from those who might be able to help.

Did you start a new thread? I have the exact problem that just happened for the first time. Unfortunately my iPhone XS merged my husband’s local number with his O/S number and I can’t text him at home, now, and I’ve been charged for the texts! I also don’t want to lose years of messages to/from him. Have you found a solution, yet?

Ok so I’m so glad that this has happened to other people. I know that that sounds cruel but seriously. So my friend Emma and my friend Gia they are twins. And their apple ids are somehow combined??? So if I wanted to tell Emma something and Gia was the last that texted me, I could only FaceTime Emma to tell her. This is the worst thing on IOS 12.

Nothing other then last name.

No, my parents don’t have a home phone, and I don’t have their address info in their contacts. I don’t have their last names in my phone, they’re just mom and dad.

I've seen that cause trouble in the past but, it sounds as if it's definitely not your issue.

Best of luck.

Accept that even though I’ve separated the accounts, it’s combining them again.

Yes, created separate Apple ids for each family member, yet somehow iOS 12 is associating them and merging them.