You are right, of course. There are so many threads on this subject, too many to count, and they go no where definitive. This is a symptom of a problem that is being experienced by iPhone users who use Windows & Outlook.
I am NOT a Windows user, and have been using various species of Linux for years, and am currently using Ubuntu on my desktop and notebook. I have been using Evolution, which is a linux version of Outlook. I now have setup a separate box to run XP and Outlook. I have tried using VMware running a virtual Windows XP on my Ubuntu box, which I have been using off and on for years with success. But, installing iTunes on the virtual Windows, and trying to sync causes the virtual Windows to hang - most unusual. Never got it figured out, hence, the Windows box.
Like I said before, iTunes is a cluge. And to it, they added the sync which ***** at best. Apple should re-think their strategy, and focused on iTunes as being a ****** good multi-media application, which will sync with Mac/Windows/Linux. Then, they should have another application, something called "iSync" or "iFiles" which specializes in syncing up anything other than multi-media, such as contacts, calendars, notes/memos, tasks. This would be a nice tight piece of code, allowing to sync with Mac/Windows/Linux.
Wish I could've been more help.
PS. For whatever reason, notes are being sync'd across to the iPhone. I noticed this a "few" syncs ago. I don't know why it decided to sync notes, whereby, it didn't a week or more ago. It's at the point now, where I don't expect anything consistent when the sync happens. If it goes across, fine, if it doesn't maybe in a few days. Not the best approach if you are relying on this device for a profession/business!