Thanks for the reply. That article says my mac is supported. I am using apple thunderbolt cables, fresh off a $75 purchase for the USB-C adapter and cable. The 2018 MBP needs the adapter, the 2015 MacBook air just needs the cable. When connecting either computer to the iMac, both the MBP and MacBook behave like the iMac is there. Choosing display system preferences and clicking "gather windows" brings up the iMac display preferences pane. And, I can rearrange the displays, using the "arrange" display option. I can drag windows from the MBP or MacBook Air screen to the iMac. But, because the iMac screen is blacked out, I can't see anything there.
So, the iMac is being recognized by the computer it is connected to ... as a big screen. The internet is filled with people with this issue. One guy found that an audio cable was messing it up. Another guy found his brightness was too low. Some lady said she had the wrong cables. Yet another dude said the short cable worked, the long did not (I'm using a brand new short cable, apple branded) Another dude said it was his keyboard (he had the fn box checked in the settings). Another reset the PRAM and SMC (I tried that as mentioned above)
Before lugging this off to an apple store ... trying one last chance to see if someone had another workaround that makes it work. I guess it's possible that the brand new cable is bad. OS10.14.4 is the latest version (in case someone sees this post in 2025).