iOS 13 update bricked my iPhone SE

Try recovery mode. Unfortunately right now is probably not the best time to try and download a huge amount of installer files from Apple because everybody else in the world is trying to do so as well.

If you can't update or restore your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch - Apple Support - https://support.apple.com/HT201263

Looks like you tried just about everything you can possibly do to get this fixed. Sorry, it didn't work out for you. The only thing I can suggest is making a Genius Bar appointment at your local Apple Store or Apple Authorized Service Provider to have them take a look and get this resolved for you quickly so you can get back to using your phone.

Ref: Genius Bar Reservation and Apple Support Options - Apple

Isn't recovery (vs. restore) mode and DFU essentially the same thing? These links, and yours, seem to indicate it is. DFU just seems to be an older term (the DFU link is from 9 years ago).

Oct. 2017 https://discussions.apple.com/thread/7940102

"You'll want to plug the iPad in first to you computer, and then press the home button and power button at the same time until the screen goes black. 2 seconds after the screen goes black, let go of the power button, but keep holding the home button until iTunes recognizes the iPad in recovery mode. This is called DFU mode. Unfortunately if the iPad is disabled, a complete restore is the only option. I hope it's backed up somewhere."

If you can't update or restore your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch - Apple Support

This article is about recovery mode.

It is unlikely it is the update alone that is causing this, otherwise we'd be seeing thousands of topics about this and not just yours. You can take your phone to an Apple Genius Bar and see if they can get the update to work.

How to find your nearest Apple Authorized Service Provider (AASP) or Apple Authorized Distributor (AAD) - https://locate.apple.com/country

Genius Bar appointment - Unfortunately Apple has made this tricky to get to directly. Go to https://www.apple.com/retail/geniusbar/ > Get hardware help. Select your hardware and continue selecting options requiring replacing parts until you see "Bring in for Repair" --> Sign in with Apple ID

If your iOS device restarts or displays the Apple logo or a spinning gear unexpectedly - https://support.apple.com/HT203899

Well, for all considering updating their iPhone through several iOS updates at once the moral of the story is this...

• make sure your devise it thoroughly backed up.
• Make sure your devise is connected to a power source (preferably fully charged too)
• make sure you have access to and up to date version of iTunes in case things don't work out when you try to update via wi-fi

there maybe more to add to this checklist, I will leave my fellow Apple users to add to it.

TTFN

FWIW, I just updated my iPhone SE to iOS 13 and had no issues doing so. However, unlike you, my phone was running iOS 12.4.1 when I upgraded it ... so I don't know if the issue you are having is the result of upgrading from a much earlier version.

What have you tried, so far yourself, to resolve this? Hard reset, restore, etc.?

They are very similar; however, the following would be the differences, as I know it:

Recovery is a mode that the device can be put in, that is used to upgrade and restore the device to a firmware using iTunes without providing the user with additional power or control. Putting the device into Recovery mode invokes the iBoot process (the bootloader in iOS devices), which in turn ensures that the user is actually attempting to install a signed firmware version that is equal to or greater than the one that's already on the device that's in Recovery mode.

DFU mode, or Device Firmware Update mode, is a special mode on iOS devices that allow the hardware to interface with the iTunes software on a Mac or PC, but without invoking the iBoot process. Putting the device into DFU mode means that the iBoot process and OS loading is bypassed in order to allow greater control and manipulation of the device using iTunes, and more importantly, the firmware that's installed, or about to be installed, on it.

yes I also have an iphone SE also and updated to 13 today too. I had all kinds of problems also just getting the update to install. I even tried doing the update by plugging my iphone into my computer itunes and making that itunes do it. nothing worked. finally I synced my iphone to the icloud, went back to my computer itunes with my iphone plugged into it and made my computer itunes do a factory reset on the iphone then a restore all my iphone info from the icloud. it worked for me and I got new 13 ios. hope this helps you figure this problem out.