Itunes Wi-fi Sync is no longer available on my iphone or iPad since my IOS 13.1 update

We are all in the same boat as you. The setting has been removed in iOS 13 and neither of the two point updates included it either.

As info...With the iTunes desktop app open on the PC, when I "dock" my XRs on their wireless charges the phones automatically perform the "Sync Now" action. And iOS shows a sync animation in the upper-right corner. That's good enough I guess and possibly better if it's a change from prior iOS versions. Although, I wish we had a way to confirm the last sync date/time stamp somewhere.

Confirmed the same "auto-sync" behavior on 2018 iPad Pro running iPadOS 13.1.1.

"Auto-sync" when powered was supposed to occur before, but never did. Nice that it does now, I guess, but I still want the manual option. Unless things have changed even more, I need it so I can cancel the sync when the sync fails (as noted here: https://www.y42k.com/2019/03/13/getting-itunes-wifi-sync-to-work/)

I have the same problem on two iPhone XRs. I upgraded to version 13.1.1today. It did not restore the missing option.

FWIW, my phone did not auto-sync.

You should be able to see the date of the last backup in iTunes which would also be the date of the last sync. In Windows it would be Edit>Preferences>Devices. On a Mac it is iTunes>Preferences>Decices.

I’m on an XR and updated to 13.1.2 and can’t see it anymore. Also I can’t sync to iTunes on PC anymore as it no longer appears in devices either. When I connect by usb a sync starts but I still can’t access the device anymore on the pc and nor does it update any music playlists.

is this about Apple trying to break up iTunes and me using my own music collection rather than Apple Music?

If your computer doesn’t see the phone, look here for help.

If your computer doesn't recognize your iPhone, iPad, or iPod - Apple Support