My wife and I share the same Apple account, but it’s to confusing and I like for her to have separate account can it be done without her losing her stuff on her iPhone and iPad

Go here - Apple ID - Official Apple Support

One of you is going to lose everything. I suggest setting up one for whoever has the most stuff and then use family sharing for the other person once they create their own Apple ID.

Look at the Solved post here by Eric Root. There is a link to a discussion where user, Winston Churchill, explains how you can save a huge amount of your data. It will take time and effort, but it can be done.

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Thank you so much for posting that!