Thanks for you patience,
Problem is fixed now, I'm leaving here the steps in hope it can help somebody else one day.
So I swapped the USB-C slots, 2nd monitor stays 30hz.
I swapped the adapters, 2nd monitor stays 30hz.
I disconnect the 1st monitor, 2nd monitor (now alone) gets 60hz.
I reconnect 1st monitor, 2nd monitor gets 30hz.
Then I go through the preferences (sure I've done it before at some point)
and find out the display for the 2nd monitor is scaled, not default.
But it is scaled to the 1st option setting, which doesn't change anything.
So I change it to default, and it get 60hz!
I change it back to scaled 1st option, looks the same, still 60hz.
I tried all the scaled options, stays 60hz.
So I end up leaving it on the default option, now 60hz.
So it all seemed to be a glitch? The 1st and last option of the scaled bar shouldn't impact performance anyway.
but even the in-between options with "degraded performance" were in 60hz.
anyway, seems that changed it to default made the tricky, all fixed now.
Thanks all for the support and patience.