How do I turn this off?

Stop sharing an iCloud account / Apple ID with her.

As long as you're sharing an account, you are the same person. All messages will be replicated on all devices signed into that account.

I'm not sure what you are asking. Do you see your daughter's texts to other people on your phone? If you do you are sharing an Apple ID with her, which is a bad idea for several reasons. I'm not clear what her laptop has to do with it, however.