Can't get Siri on - can't use carplay
Well, the situation is as follows:
I have never been using Siri - but now I have a car with CarPlay and I want to have it working.
iOS 13.3, iphoneX.
I connect the phone to the car (multiple cables, several times turing on and off both phone and car).
Car recognizes phone.
I understand that in order to have CarPlay playing, I need to have Siri ON.
Status on the phone: When I press the side button, siri says "talk, I am listening". When I go to settings-->Siri&Search, both "listen for hey siri" and "Press side button for Siri" are disabled (!?). When I go to Settings-->General, I don't see CarPlay.
So I go back to settings-->Siri&Search and try to enable "listen for hey siri". Pup up asks "Enable Siri" or "Cancel". I choose "enable siri" and nothing happens, keeps popping up the same message. Then i try to enable "press side button for siri". Pup up asks "Enable Siri" or "Cancel" (again). This time "Enable Siri" works and I have now additional options in the screen (Language, Siri Voice, Voide feedback etc.). If I go back to settings and then again in "siri&search", "press side button for siri" is disabled again!
So I do the same (enable it) and then try also to enable "listen for hey siri". It is not enabled but somehow magically now the siri & Search remains enabled.
I now go to settings--> General I see CarPlay - great. I also see my car. Trying to connect. The car says that it cannot connect because Siri is disabled! And indeed - magically, again, and while I am in the CarPlay menu in my phone, I tap the side button and I get a message to turn on Siri! And if I do it again from there, the car says it lost connection.
What's the deal here?
G
iPhone X, iOS 12