itunes not detecting iphone xr

itunes is not detecting my iphone xr? Had a previous iphone XR and got a new one cause I had cracked the screens. Phone was working fine until the new one. itunes does not recognize it. iphoto does detect the phone and a friends Mac book also works. My itunes and iphone both have the latest software updates. Although I could not restore my new phone from a saved backup cause my old iphone was running the iOS 13 beta 13.3.1. and newest update available is 13.3. I tried everything I have read online to fix this but have not been successful.