problems when iphone is in my pocket

This issue started with my iPhone7 a few weeks ago. Whenever my phone was in my pocket - I would be listening to a podcast and it would just randomly stop playing - stopping and starting - doing weird things. Also, i would try to make a call and call wasn't going through. It seemed to be an issue with the headphones - as when I made a call without the headphones plugged in seemed to be fine.

Fast forward 2 weeks - got a brand new iPhone XS, with new headphones - and I am still having issues????

Now the person I'm calling on the other end says that when my phone is in my pocket, the call quality is poor/ muffled.

I seem to have fixed the podcasts randomly stopping/starting but that was also happening on the new iPhone (XS)

I'm wondering if this is all to do with a bug for the new iOS? as it seems odd that i'd have similiar issues with 2 different phones.

the issue seems to be when the phone is in my pocket, and the headphone jack.

HELP ME please