in the end, I couldn't find a qualify solution for that problem,
but helped a lot, go to:
control panel -> printer and devices -> find the iPhone -> right click -> properties
then find the place where you tap "update drivers" find them automaticly.
it not finding anything new, but! the iPhone conecting and opening the eccess to the photos through "my computer", for some time.
(in some cases you need to reconnect the device physically and he finding it after that strange "update")
I did it like 30 times, everytime I copyied some photos from the iPhone (and there was a lot, like 9,000...) untill I finished. and disconnected the device.