Get an error message (error 14) when updating iphone 6s (to 13.something os), and only option seems to be to restore to factory settings. I absolutely don't want to do that. Do I have other options to not lose everything? What do?

I have an iphone 6s.

It has told me there is an update ready for a good long while now. I usually don't bother with updates until after the notification has been up for like months. I randomly decided to give updating it a go tonight because I was super bored and wasn't doing anything else. I figured it would go smoothly like every other update I've put onto this phone. Don't remember if I've ever backed up this phone, maybe I never have, I don't know, but I didn't bother to do a back up before updating since I figured the update would go fine.

I plugged it into my computer so it could connect to itunes. The window pops up once it sees my phone asking if I want to download and update the newest os for my phone. I choose to do so. I leave it be and leave itunes up in the background while I continue with other stuff. The update seems to be taking ages longer than usual, it seems to be stuck on the black screen with the apple logo and the updating loading bar under it with the white line filling only about 1/4th of it (it had been almost an hour at this point). I shrug and leave it be while I go have dinner and play some card games with my family. I come back about another hour later, and the screen is exactly the same, hasn't budged. I go back to itunes and it's saying there has been an error (14), and my phone can not be updated, and needs to be restored to factory settings. I have never gotten this message before and am shocked...surely apple would have accounted for various things going wrong during a phone os update like the cord disconnecting or internet disconnecting or anything like that, and not require a full blown reset to factory settings because of any simple mishap or mistake.

I find the apple support page for update and restore errors. Error 14 seems to be listed under every category of "what your error could mean". I try a different usb cord. Still gives me the same message saying I need to restore to factory settings. I try 4 different usb cords (all from different brands, one of which being an original apple brand usb cord), and I try them all in both of the two ports on my computer. No luck with any of them, the same message pops up every time. I figure maybe I need to update itunes. Any time I've had a slow update in the past it was because I needed to update itunes, and once I did it would update at a normal speed. I try to find if I need to update itunes, and I don't. Then I realize my mac itself is due for an update. So I update my mac (almost another whole hour), and I try again. Still get the same error message wanting me to restore to factory settings. Then I recall a new mac os had come out somewhat recently, so I go and update my computer to Catalina, and then try to update my phone once again. And once again it is giving me the same message wanting me to restore to factory settings.

Thankfully I use icloud for photos and I think I should be able to access my photos if I need to do a full restore of my phone. Luckily my google calendar is in its own cloud. But I don't want to lose my contacts list. I can't remember off the top of my head what specific apps I had on my phone. I also very much relied on the saved passwords and logins on my phone, and I'm not sure what I will do if I have to lose that. I have a macbook and an ipad so I can still use messages, which is my primary mode of communication, and people don't really ever call me nor do I have needs to call anyone ever really, so if my phone has to be out of commission for the time being it's not the end of the world. But I just really really don't want to do a factory reset because I don't want to be losing how my phone was set up. As far as I can tell there is no backup. I did click restore at one point when prompted from itunes, and there was no option to restore from a backup. It told me everything would be erased, so I canceled out of it.

I have no idea at all why my phone would not update at all, and why it's telling me I need to fully restore to factory settings. I have never gotten this message before. Fully restoring seems unecessary when it can't give me any specific reasons as to why it can not update my phone.

Is there a way around this? Is there a way to force it to update my phone? If I can get a hold of another household members laptop tonight I will try a different computer, but I have a feeling it will still give me the same message. I can not restart my phone back to it's regular home screen. It just gives me the screen with the picture telling me I need to plug my phone into itunes. Is there any way to send my phone back to the os it had before I tried to update it, or is there any way to force it to update without having to restore it? Halp lol.