Hello Kurtis Brown,
Thanks for using Apple Support Communities. We see that the expected options don't appear in Finder when trying to sync your iPad and iPhone with your iMac. We're happy to help.
We recommend testing the issue while in safe mode. Starting in safe mode allows your Mac to run certain checks, remove caches, and prevent login items from automatically launching. This can isolate possible third party issues. Use the steps and information in the link below for assistance with safe mode:
How to use safe mode on your Mac
If the issue persists, test in another user account. This will help determine if the issue is specific to your user account or system wide.
How to test an issue in another user account on your Mac
Let us know the results. Please include specific error messages and any other troubleshooting steps that you may have tried.
Have a wonderful day!