Hi roperdude777,
Thanks for getting back to us with those additional details. It looks like your having issues with your wireless headphones earbuds after updating your iPhone to iOS 14, so let's continue working on this together.
You've mentioned that your earbuds stay connected while being in the stand by mode, also, they disconnect randomly. Did we get that right?
Also, it looks like you already unpaired/repaired them, and test with your wife's earbuds. Nice work troubleshooting.
Does your wife use the same earbuds brand? Also, when you say that you tested with 3 different earbuds, are they all wireless earbuds?
Next, have you tried to reset your earbuds, or check if they need a firmware update? You may need to contact the manufacturer for help.
So we're on the same page, did you try these steps to unpair/repair your earbuds?
Set up and listen to Bluetooth devices on iPhone
We'll be waiting for your response. Best regards.