iPhone is disabled; connect to iTunes (for elderly "remote" parent)

A disabled device needs the device screen lock passcode reset, which can only be done by erasing the device in iTunes. There is no other mechanism to reset a disabled device. Without an iCloud or iTunes backup to afterwards restore data from, data loss is inevitable.

Resetting the AppleID password does nothing about a disabled device. The screen lock passcode is stored only on the device itself. So once the device is disabled, the only mechanism to reset the device is to erase it in iTunes, which then reinstalls iOS and puts the device back to the welcome/activation setup menu.

And BTW, iOS and iPadOS are specifically designed that way. Once disabled, there is no way for anybody to regain access to the device with its data intact. It is up to owners to make sure they are backing up in iCloud or iTunes, and doing so regularly so their data is recoverable by them (and nobody but them).

There is only one solution, regardless of the age of the individual with the phone, and if they do not have a computer available, they can't do it.

If you forgot the passcode for your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch, or your device is disabled

If the passcode for the phone has been forgotten and/or it is now disabled, any data on the device that wasn't already backed up is gone.