It's been 6 weeks or so with the MBP 16" and so far relatively few problems. I have had a couple of unexplained crashes, but they may have been related to specific software being used at the time, in specific circumstances. Nothing in the last couple of weeks. I have updated to MacOS 11.2. But the crashing every few minutes just isn't happening for me.
The MBP does occasionally drop the Bluetooth connection to the mouse and the headphones, and needs to be reconnected manually sometimes. Other times it picks it up itself. That's probably my biggest problem with this MBP.
I have a dual monitor system at home, connected via HDMI through a CalDigit Thunderbolt 3 MiniDock. This is the same one I used with the MB Air before. I also use it to connect to the dual monitors at the office, also using HDMI. When in class, I will run the MBP using a nearby power socket, as I am using an Apple adaptor that allows the USB keyboard, the power module and an HDMI connection. The HDMI connection allows me to use the video projector in the classroom. That has all worked pretty well.
To date, I am pretty pleased with the MBP. The MB Air will be going back to my wife, as it was an 'emergency loaner' that went on for a year! It did a great job, given its specs, but I find the MBP much better for video production and the like.
If you are having crashing issues with dual monitors, I feel your pain, to the extent of my old MBP, which is currently quite dead after all the crashing with Catalina. It seems to be very much a machine/set-up specific thing: some machines crash like mad and others seem immune. Fortunately, the proportion that crash seem small in the overall picture, but if yours is one of the crashers, it's probably 100% of your MBPs and a major problem. I don't have a solution that I could even hope would work: it seems a matter of chance.