message on Macbook pro preferences missing

Hi--The way I have my Macbook pro and iphone 11 set up is this for several years: I can receive a text on both. However, when I delete text on one, it does not delete from the other. I like it this way. So on my phone In icloud settings, I do not have icloud ON. I have forwarded to COMPUTER ON. Send and Receive with my phone number and email. On my computer for messages, preferences, imessage, until three days ago said Enable Messages in Icloud but I did not check off. It never had Enable this account like your example. I have been working with an Apple senioradvisor/engineers on a myriad of issues but not sure what we did to have Enable Messages in Icloud disappear. If you could guide me to what should be on/off on computer messaging and iphone icloud and other message settings would appreciate. Would love to know where Enable messages in icloud went on my phone. Thank you for your help...i need it.