Many questions

Years ago, I was an Applephile. Had to switch to Android for several years and finally switched back. So, I have thousands of songs in my Apple Library, that I would love to play on my new Iphone 11. I can see them on there, but they are grayed out and I get a little message that says to go to "preferences" and sync all libraries. That's very cool, except, I have clicked on and off, deleted and re-loaded, said voodoo prayers etc. and cannot get these songs to show up on my phone. And BTW, what is that thing that looks like a turd next to it? Let me also say that I have had countless PCs/Ipods/Nanos over the years and the library has been transferred several times. Now, to further my frustration, when I try to re-load one of these discs that is already in the library, I get an error message as well. At this time, I have 1 PC, 1 Surface and 1 Iphone and I would simply like for all of them to have the same music. Now, when I load music onto my PC, sometimes it takes days for it to appear on my phone, but if I load it onto the Surface, it shows up almost immediately. What is the difference there? Question 3 or 4, why does a new CD not load all songs into Itunes? I just loaded 2 new CDs and on both 2 songs didn't load. That's very frustrating. Question 5ish, I've been trying to tidy up my library and some albums will allow me to change the artist from say, "Joe Ely, feat. Alejandro Escovedo" to just "Joe Ely", however, some will not let me type anything anywhere. Questions 6 or so, Occasionally, when I hit the Siri button, it starts calling someone. Who in the **** is it calling?

Any help would be greatly appreciated. I have thousands of CDs that I have downloaded onto a hard drive in FLAC format, so evidently, none of those can be directly loaded into the library, however, that is a mess of my own ****** creation.

And, after begging for help, I can't believe that I'm risking the wrath of anyone, well, who might be helpful, but man, that keyboard? Even after Microsoft screwed it up, the Swiftkey is so much better. No @ without shifting, no numbers? I guess I'll get used to it.

Pretty, please? You can tell that I am an idiot and need help!!