HELP i am trying to update and it gets to a certain point and freezes

How much free space do you have?

Safe Boot, (holding Shift key down at startup), does the problem occur in Safe Mode? Could take 10 minutes.

Safe mode attempts to repair Disks & clears lots of caches & loads safe Drivers, & prevents loading of 3rd party extensions.

I suspect that this is because the download file you are attempting to use has gotten corrupted and won't load. Are you using Wi-Fi to do the download? If so, it is often corrupted because it is just too much data for Wi-Fi. Better to use an Ethernet cable connection to your modem/router. If it is not nearby, consider temporarily moving the computer to do the download. If that is not possible, you may have to do several lengthy downloads via Wi-Fi to get one that is clean and is successful. And be patient, a download can sometimes take up to an hour, more or less, with another 45 minutes to load. I hope it goes well for you.