so go figure this, I had a burst of backups, and then it stopped again, currently "preparing backup" for the last 8 or so hours...
% tmutil listbackups -m
/Volumes/Ironwolf 8TB/Backups.backupdb/iMac/2021-05-18-175254
/Volumes/Ironwolf 8TB/Backups.backupdb/iMac/2021-07-16-030404
/Volumes/Ironwolf 8TB/Backups.backupdb/iMac/2021-07-16-143017
/Volumes/Ironwolf 8TB/Backups.backupdb/iMac/2021-07-16-154149
/Volumes/Ironwolf 8TB/Backups.backupdb/iMac/2021-07-16-173423
/Volumes/Ironwolf 8TB/Backups.backupdb/iMac/2021-07-16-193442
/Volumes/Ironwolf 8TB/Backups.backupdb/iMac/2021-07-16-213412
/Volumes/Ironwolf 8TB/Backups.backupdb/iMac/2021-07-16-233429
/Volumes/Ironwolf 8TB/Backups.backupdb/iMac/2021-07-17-013536
/Volumes/Ironwolf 8TB/Backups.backupdb/iMac/2021-07-17-033513
/Volumes/Ironwolf 8TB/Backups.backupdb/iMac/2021-07-17-053558
/Volumes/Ironwolf 8TB/Backups.backupdb/iMac/2021-07-17-073533
/Volumes/Ironwolf 8TB/Backups.backupdb/iMac/2021-07-17-093630
/Volumes/Ironwolf 8TB/Backups.backupdb/iMac/2021-07-17-112949
/Volumes/Ironwolf 8TB/Backups.backupdb/iMac/2021-07-17-134119
% tmutil listbackups -m -d /Volumes/TimeMachine\ 8TB
/Volumes/.timemachine/E810F4F2-9D78-4329-A334-EE72291F4622/2021-06-25-150425.backup/2021-06-25-150425.backup
/Volumes/.timemachine/E810F4F2-9D78-4329-A334-EE72291F4622/2021-07-16-014218.backup/2021-07-16-014218.backup
/Volumes/.timemachine/E810F4F2-9D78-4329-A334-EE72291F4622/2021-07-16-203406.backup/2021-07-16-203406.backup
/Volumes/.timemachine/E810F4F2-9D78-4329-A334-EE72291F4622/2021-07-16-223425.backup/2021-07-16-223425.backup
/Volumes/.timemachine/E810F4F2-9D78-4329-A334-EE72291F4622/2021-07-17-003533.backup/2021-07-17-003533.backup
/Volumes/.timemachine/E810F4F2-9D78-4329-A334-EE72291F4622/2021-07-17-023542.backup/2021-07-17-023542.backup
/Volumes/.timemachine/E810F4F2-9D78-4329-A334-EE72291F4622/2021-07-17-043546.backup/2021-07-17-043546.backup
/Volumes/.timemachine/E810F4F2-9D78-4329-A334-EE72291F4622/2021-07-17-063540.backup/2021-07-17-063540.backup
/Volumes/.timemachine/E810F4F2-9D78-4329-A334-EE72291F4622/2021-07-17-083546.backup/2021-07-17-083546.backup
/Volumes/.timemachine/E810F4F2-9D78-4329-A334-EE72291F4622/2021-07-17-104233.backup/2021-07-17-104233.backup
/Volumes/.timemachine/E810F4F2-9D78-4329-A334-EE72291F4622/2021-07-17-124818.backup/2021-07-17-124818.backup
/Volumes/.timemachine/E810F4F2-9D78-4329-A334-EE72291F4622/2021-07-18-172340.backup/2021-07-18-172340.backup