I am so lost! Someone please help-

Two main issue here:

1) The iPhone.

'Activation Lock for iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch' is a security feature that's designed to prevent anyone else from using an iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch, if it's ever lost or stolen. To learn more click here --> http://support.apple.com/HT201365

For an individual to remove an activation lock absolutely requires the information for the account that applied the lock. Click on this link to learn 'How to remove Activation Lock' --> https://support.apple.com/HT201441

Since you can't do those, Apple can completely reset a device if a person can provide sufficient evidence of valid ownership. Do this online at: Activation Lock support request - https://al-support.apple.com/#/additional-support Apple says, "Proof of ownership documentation is required," but does not state what currently constitutes proof. Prior to this new online service Apple typically required the original receipt issued by Apple or an Apple Authorized Reseller and documented provenance (so typically it would be the original owner who does this, or a descendant with legal proof of ownership).

2) The account.

Click on this link "If you think your Apple ID has been compromised" --> https://support.apple.com/HT204145

Since you say Account Recovery does not work, you will have to contact Apple and see if they have an alternative solution. I have no idea what you mean when you say Apple says everything at their end is "blank".

Contact Apple for help with Apple ID account security - https://support.apple.com/HT204169 "This article provides country-specific Apple Support contact information for customers seeking help with their Apple ID password or other security-related issues." Better for directly reporting an issue.