Get an iPad.
I’ve followed the path you’re on with macOS and with various folks, and the trends and skills here do not usually improve.
Across various different folks… I’ve chased System Preferences and mail settings changes, confusing pop-ups, unplugged devices, unplugged devices, unplugged devices, the same unplugged Time Capsule unplugged the same way several times, mail settings corruptions, surprise password changes, spam, spam, phishing, spam, and spam, and various macOS bugs, and have I mentioned unplugged devices? And scams and phishing and spam?
macOS is very powerful, but it’s also very complex.
And some settings are very easy to change, and far harder ro detect and diagnose and revert locally. Much less remotely.
An iPad will probably be a handful here to start with, and it starts out simpler than macOS.
An iPad is much easier to provision and lock down (Apple Configurator 2 app, etc) and with the use of the well-named parental controls feature, than is macOS.
If you have the budget for it, an iCloud backup can be restored onto another (replacement) iPad and shipped, if (when?) the iPad gets dinged/lost/corrupted.
If you want to continue with macOS (any discussions of sunk costs and of possibly-familiar computer UIs aside), then Messages and its built-in screen sharing capabilities will be the easiest way to provide remote support of a Mac. Share your screen using Messages on Mac - Apple Support
One downside is that Apple Messages cannot share the iPad screen, though some apps such as Zoom can.
General comment: Whatever you choose, I’d either lock down mail to contacts-only, or would minimally delete all arriving mail messages with attachments from any unknown users. Any Office docs, any PDF, any zip, images, all attachments and all remote-load stuff from unknown senders all gets binned by rules. Messages gets similarly locked down to known senders. Some spammers absolutely target older folks for their scams, and the spammers and scammers are persistent.
And to answer your question, no, you really can’t get out of using an Apple ID with Apple products, Mac, iPad, iPhone, or otherwise. And you will want to regain access to the Apple ID and password in use here, if you don’t already have that.