Hello hostagepilled,
Welcome to Apple Support Communities!
We understand you need to connect and charge your AirPods to get the most out of them. We'll be glad to assist.
To fix the issues with connecting your AirPods Pro, follow each step here: If your AirPods won't connect
Once you complete those steps, you can fix charging issues with these steps: If your AirPods won’t charge
If you're continuing to experience the same thing, try connecting your AirPods to a different device or computer: Set up AirPods with your Mac and other Bluetooth devices
Do they connect and work with these other devices?
If the same issue is happening, please reach out to Apple directly. Use this link to contact Apple Support.
Take care.