Switch to a Samsung phone and use Googles Family Link or get a Gabb Phone. Both cover all the basics of parental control. Family Link is the defacto Android parental control native to Android and allows for remote control of permissions and monitoring. Gabb phone is just a dumb phone (but looks like a smart phone so your kid can "fit in"), and so it has zero config, and so you kids can't complain and ask for more time etc, because that is just not an option :)
My son wanted an iPhone, I tried setting up parental controls on my iPhone before buying one for him. I was unable to stop myself from getting access to apps and websites via the Screen Time feature (Screen Time is more for personal governance than parental control). I ended up on this forum because I was hoping I was missing something. Poor boy going to have a Samsung: he can deal with the stupid peer pressure of his friend's and Apple's hokey dokey iMessage lock in. I was hoping I could just give my boy iMessage and Spotify, but not an option with current iOS 16.
You can't get rid of "1 more minute option"... so the only way to do parental controls on iOS is to uninstall all apps that you for sure don't want your kids to ever open, and for un installable Apple apps you want "blocked" you just have to live with the one more minute option.